Written by Paul Gamlowski
Dear Miss Smith,
I regret to inform you that we cannot accept your manuscript in its currently written state. The cost of editing it would far exceed its sponsored profitability. We suggest you consider a rewrite and refrain from the rampant use of non-branded pronouns.
As you know, in today's world, no one buys books anymore. Congress recently passed the Copyright Dismissal Act and decided that no text or artwork shall ever sell for direct profit. They reasoned that any access to creative works for a fee would violate the right to reproducibility clause in the Freedom of Sharing Act.
Just between you and me, I believe they simply could not keep up with all the scanning and copying on the Internet. So they made it into law to satisfy the 'share anything and everything' digital culture of their new electorate.
To help you in your endeavor, I have quoted a sample passage of yours below. I have also inserted an example of how you should rewrite it to satisfy the publishing industry's latest branding criteria.
Your Version
Jennifer drove home on the freeway and faced a tough commute, with so many cars jamming the lanes. She opened her phone and played some music because the vehicles were moving at such a slow pace; she needed something to sing along to keep herself awake.
Jennifer had picked up some coffee on the way, which helped her for the long drive home. She rang her kids on the phone and told her oldest child to make dinner for her siblings to make sure they did their homework. While driving, Jennifer looked at her phone for a split-second, felt a thump, and her steering wheel airbag popped open. She could hear lots of banging and crashing as other vehicles did the same.
What We Suggest
Jennifer drove her Global Elite Class X20 sedan, rated best in its class for comfort and safety by Autonomous Cars & Safety Magazine July 2064. She faced a lot of challenges on the road due to other car brand's inferior routing systems. Unlike her superior X20, other brands cannot correctly predict road hazards and weather conditions. They lack a global connected communication cloud-based grid — all of which the X20 features with enhanced cooperation and efficient speeds.
She opened her Smart Systems LR-24 8G holographic mobile entertainment and communication center and played Juliet Summers #1 sing-along I Will Love You to Bits Even When You're Obsolete, sponsored by the EZ Drone Shopping Network.
She had pre-ordered a Mocha Mint Boost, which transferred straight to her vehicle's Instant Shop Deluxe Premium Package Accessory, as she drove-by a robotically crewed Always Fresh—a #1 rated health department fast-food chain with zero downtime, cryonic storage to avoid spoilage, and never any communicable diseases. The Mocha Mint Boost kept her rejuvenated for her adventurous, enjoyable, and refreshing voyage home.
She spoke to her always available and friendly Smart Systems voice assistant who can communicate in 6,500 languages, including all their dialects with its built-in translator. She had it talk with her children to persuade them using advanced Always Right AI Guardian algorithms to order an Always Fresh dinner as it will be delivered on time and 100% nutritional, meeting the latest Health Department's strict dietary guidelines. The voice assistant will also seamlessly communicate with her Every Families Nanny Model M-32 robotic companion to enter a teaching mode. With an All-Knowledge Exabyte subscription plan, her M-32 will tutor the children fluently and expertly with their school subjects.
While her X20 was on autopilot and correctly keeping a safe distance with its proprietary Maximum Protection System, which includes early warning and preventive radar, lidar, and predictive tracking, an inferior brand's fleet of vehicles had yet another network systems failure. They went into fast reverse, causing untold damage to all other brand's crudely designed cars.
Fortunately, Jennifer's X-20's safety system licensed by Your Safe With Us—with international patents—deployed biodegradable and environmentally compliant foam, encapsulating her body while allowing her to breathe and stay safe. Her X-20 immediately contacted private and public emergency services with perfect efficiency, providing her exact GPS location while continuously monitoring her vital signs.
We hope this rewritten example will help you with the rest of your project.
This conversion was brought to you by Create and Make — 'Create with a Vision and Make with a Profit,' helping you bring creativity and profitability together.
Sincerely,
Mr. Robert Adams, Chief Editor
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